Envision a time when early humans roamed. They walked around, naked, not knowing what clothes were, not knowing the material world. Their physical responses told them to find sustenance; their natural sense of defense warned them to find a place where they would be safe. Protected from the unknown. But there came a moment when basic needs to survive were fulfilled easily, as curiosity seeped in and humans ventured further out. Out of their comfort zones and into the big place we now call the world.
I used to think myself as a citizen of the world. I travelled far and wide to destinations unknown; as a photographer and journalist I captured the world through my lens and my mind, and the only other thing I needed was my passport.
A passport, an item seemingly small, may hold the key to our future. With a passport nowhere is too strange a place to stay in, albeit for a limited time. Eventually, one has to go back to his or her abode, as everyone belongs somewhere. But what if I wanted to belong someplace else with someone else? I then get scrutinized by the system that created this small travel document. I become an ordinary citizen.
Where do we have to go to live freely? I ask myself.
Only in my dreams I can go wherever I want. Only in my sleep I can choose not to wake up to reality. Only in my mind I can travel freely as a citizen of the world.
Monday 28 June 2010
Black Necklace
I have a long black necklace.
It tangles so very often and I find myself trying to untangle it all the time.
It sometimes sits in a compartment in my bag
and as the bag gets tossed, moved and shifted,
so does the necklace.
But no matter what its surroundings do to it,
I still manage to save it from destruction.
All I do is put it in my confident hands,
although seeming irreversible and time-consuming,
the black necklace slowly,
strand by strand,
straightens and comes lose.
If you find your life in a mess,
look at the beginning and the end.
For the solutions you'll discover as you take your time,
will unconditionally provide a helping hand.
It tangles so very often and I find myself trying to untangle it all the time.
It sometimes sits in a compartment in my bag
and as the bag gets tossed, moved and shifted,
so does the necklace.
But no matter what its surroundings do to it,
I still manage to save it from destruction.
All I do is put it in my confident hands,
although seeming irreversible and time-consuming,
the black necklace slowly,
strand by strand,
straightens and comes lose.
If you find your life in a mess,
look at the beginning and the end.
For the solutions you'll discover as you take your time,
will unconditionally provide a helping hand.
Saturday 26 June 2010
Chaos
Isn't it strange when one's depressed, the surroundings always seem messier than when one's happy?
My room, four days ago, was total chaos. I left my suitcases strewn and belongings halfheartedly spilling out of their receptacles. Today marks day five and as I look around my room, it just seems a tad tidier than it was before.
When you start to pick yourself up from a fall, your mind naturally veers towards organised chaos. You rearrange your room so it actually looks live-able, and organisation is essential to rearrange your thoughts. I've realised that this sort of rearrangement helps to heal your mind, heart and soul, so when the time comes to fight and finish the game, you know your place in your world.
My room, four days ago, was total chaos. I left my suitcases strewn and belongings halfheartedly spilling out of their receptacles. Today marks day five and as I look around my room, it just seems a tad tidier than it was before.
When you start to pick yourself up from a fall, your mind naturally veers towards organised chaos. You rearrange your room so it actually looks live-able, and organisation is essential to rearrange your thoughts. I've realised that this sort of rearrangement helps to heal your mind, heart and soul, so when the time comes to fight and finish the game, you know your place in your world.
Friday 25 June 2010
UK Border Causes Depression and Fear!!!
Talk about human rights. Talk about being a fair and democratic nation.
Why would the UK separate a couple in love at the border?
I was refused entry into the country because the Fiji Immigration department failed to stamp my passport correctly, and as I did not have the facilitation letter with me, this led to the presumption that I worked illegally in Fiji when me and my partner have proper work permits, paid tax to the government and were perfectly legit!
All I wanted was to spend a few months holidaying with him and his family, to see if I'd really like to live there and spend our future together there. He was going to set up his business and of course, I have to be there, I'm his girlfriend! We were booked on camping and caravan trips in Cornwall and Cotswolds as well, which has now all gone to waste. I am not a criminal, I am a bloody tourist!
Now officer #8461 of the UK Border at London-Heathrow Terminal 4, I hope you are reading this, and I hope you feel ashamed. You have ruined two persons future plans and put a standstill on our relationship by separating us. I have been slipping into depression and deep distress ever since that fateful 21st of June 2010. We have bright plans for the future and now it's all been upset because of your inability to discern right from wrong, genuine from false. You even refused to let me call my embassy, saying you'd already ruled the decision! What lies! I am a Singaporean and we are in the Commonwealth; is this what happens to us? When my boyfriend asked if I will get into the same situation again the next time I enter, you said, "It depends on the officer." So what you're saying is it's nothing to do with the case? It depends on whether the officer is in a good mood or not? What kind of double standards is that?
Now I'm getting all my forms sorted out with my ex-boss in Fiji for a new application which has no guarantee of being granted and I await the day I can rub my work permit in your face, debunking all claims that I had no documentation to prove I worked in Fiji. You said I was unemployed when I said I'm self-employed and freelance; that is utter disrespect for my job! You slandered me. No one would grant us an audience and we are being tossed around like toys, calling up the UK Border Agency from the UK only to discover they were not interested.
I fear the UK now when I used to love it so much. The dynamic multi-cultural cities, green fields and rich culture, beautiful coastline, awe-inspiring ancient monuments and architecture. Unfortunately you have given me a bad impression of the country and changed how I feel towards it. My mother has taught me not to hate. I have practiced well and am learning to cultivate myself in compassion, kindness and love.
But you are the first person in my life that I hate. #8461.
Why would the UK separate a couple in love at the border?
I was refused entry into the country because the Fiji Immigration department failed to stamp my passport correctly, and as I did not have the facilitation letter with me, this led to the presumption that I worked illegally in Fiji when me and my partner have proper work permits, paid tax to the government and were perfectly legit!
All I wanted was to spend a few months holidaying with him and his family, to see if I'd really like to live there and spend our future together there. He was going to set up his business and of course, I have to be there, I'm his girlfriend! We were booked on camping and caravan trips in Cornwall and Cotswolds as well, which has now all gone to waste. I am not a criminal, I am a bloody tourist!
Now officer #8461 of the UK Border at London-Heathrow Terminal 4, I hope you are reading this, and I hope you feel ashamed. You have ruined two persons future plans and put a standstill on our relationship by separating us. I have been slipping into depression and deep distress ever since that fateful 21st of June 2010. We have bright plans for the future and now it's all been upset because of your inability to discern right from wrong, genuine from false. You even refused to let me call my embassy, saying you'd already ruled the decision! What lies! I am a Singaporean and we are in the Commonwealth; is this what happens to us? When my boyfriend asked if I will get into the same situation again the next time I enter, you said, "It depends on the officer." So what you're saying is it's nothing to do with the case? It depends on whether the officer is in a good mood or not? What kind of double standards is that?
Now I'm getting all my forms sorted out with my ex-boss in Fiji for a new application which has no guarantee of being granted and I await the day I can rub my work permit in your face, debunking all claims that I had no documentation to prove I worked in Fiji. You said I was unemployed when I said I'm self-employed and freelance; that is utter disrespect for my job! You slandered me. No one would grant us an audience and we are being tossed around like toys, calling up the UK Border Agency from the UK only to discover they were not interested.
I fear the UK now when I used to love it so much. The dynamic multi-cultural cities, green fields and rich culture, beautiful coastline, awe-inspiring ancient monuments and architecture. Unfortunately you have given me a bad impression of the country and changed how I feel towards it. My mother has taught me not to hate. I have practiced well and am learning to cultivate myself in compassion, kindness and love.
But you are the first person in my life that I hate. #8461.
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